We have just recently had our eight week scan. Most people don't have one but considering we had already been to the fertility specialist and Liz's family history Dr. Alice booked us in for the 8 week scan.
Now I know the blood test confirmed the pregnancy but seeing the scan and hearing the heartbeat just takes it all to another level. It was pretty damn amazing, I'll be honest and say it brought a tear to my eye and quite a few to Liz's. On the screen the baby already looks so big, but it must be some mad magnification as Dr. Alice told us it was a whole 1.5cm big, the size of a jelly bean. It is really incredulous that you can see and hear a heartbeat in something that is only 1.5cm big. We got the scan photo and due date (expected) of 4/4 which does mean that there is a possibility of and April fools birthday, we'll take it as it comes.
At the moment I'm still in the really excited mode, looking at names, checking out baby stuff at the stores and all that. However, it's all balanced out by the fact that we need to remain cautious, the majority of miscarriages happen in the first 12 weeks, with a lot in weeks 9 and 10' so whilst we are dry excited we are also a touch nervous. I guess we will be super relieved once week 12 rolls around.
We have told a few people now. Liz's parent and middle brother, we haven't told her youngest brother as he is on a 6 month trio through Asia, Mongolia and Russia and don't wont to distract him just yet. Our plan is to let him know as well after 12 weeks. Liz also told one of her besties as she just couldn't hold it in any longer, she held off telling another bestie who is heavily pregnant and just wants to be certain before sharing the pregnancy joy.
I've told my family, one uncle, one aunt, one set of cousins and two friends. One of the friends because she is the reason that Liz and I met and the another to get some tips and recommendations on OB/GYNs in Geelong. So the word is out which is good, we now have a lot more people happy for us and also who are there for help and support.
So the next thing for us is a 10 week and then a 12 week scan and then we'll be public. I can't wait.
I also plan on talking about all the baby stuff out there in future posts (pram, cot, change table, car seat, capsule, baby bjorn, etc, etc,) as I get my head around what we need and what is just an excuse to cash in on new parents. This is going to be a mad experience.
Ciao.
Wednesday, 28 August 2013
Sunday, 11 August 2013
Success - but no one knows (sort of)
Liz and I have always wanted kids, that is something that we talked about early in our relationships, because, if we're being honest, that was a deal breaker for both of us. So when the time came where we were comfortable to start trying we were quite excited. I mean this is a real shift in how we live our lives. We were moving from fairly carefree to hopefully parents with the change in focus and responsibility that entails.
The trying thing did become a bit trying. From all these people you see running around with kids you would thing that getting pregnant is fairly straight forward, but alas, it is not. When you start out, you sort of hope and believe things would work pretty well and it will only be a couple of months before the happiness begins. In reality, the rough average of time from beginning trying to conception is 12 months. Now a lot of people get pregnant first go, so that really means that 12 months is really more like 18 - 24 months. In this time you become more aware of other friends who took some time to conceive and others that still have not managed it and things become a little somber.
Our trying was one that took a while, 16 months of trying. At the start it is all fun, but as the months mount, the attempts become more structured and the doubts start to creep in. Meaning, what should be quite a positive time can be a touch difficult. Add to that, the constant questions from well meaning family and friends, well, as I say it can get a bit stressful.
We were quite proactive though. Early in our trying we both got a bunch of tests done to make sure everything was good. Pretty much because we are mid thirties, there are some family historical issues and realistically we didn't want to waste time if there was something we needed to sort out. In the end we booked in to see a OB/GYN after month 15 to get some more reassurance and to also see if there was anything else we could be doing to get things sorted.
As it turns out, we fell pregnant on the 16th attempt. I must say what a range of emotions and feelings. It was funny, but my first feeling was of relief. We'd done it and more importantly, we didn't have to stress about doing it any more. The test result was only faint, but temperatures were consistently raised, so all things were yes. The next feeling was probably a little bit of doubt, was this real? Is the faint marker a true Yes? As I said, we'd booked into the OB/GYN to discuss fertility so it turned into a confirmation/first visit. Our doctor was great, she still went through the fertility stuff that we'd booked to see her for, but also sent us off to get a blood test to confirm the pregnancy. She also eased our concerns around some family history that turns out to not affect us.
Anyway, the pregnancy confirmation. It was by way of a blood test and we had to wait a day for the result. This was probably when I was the most nervous. Although, the pee tests are of a good quality nowadays and give fairly accurate results, the faintness of our test gave me some pause. What if it was mistake/misreading? What if we weren't pregnant? It is fair to say, it was a slow 24 hours til we got the results. Liz called me as I was on my way to my uncles, where I'm doing a bit of work with the great news. We are definitely pregnant. I was so stoked. Walking around like a grinning mad man. I celebrated with a sausage roll with sauce, that is to say I celebrated in style. We've got the 8 week scan booked in for 3 weeks from the confirmation, so all systems are go. But they're not really are they.
Understanding that 1/6 pregnancies miscarry and most of them within the first 8 - 12 weeks, we don't want to tell anyone. I know this prudent and that most couples take this tack and can totally understand the reasoning. But normally when you have great news, you tell your nearest and dearest so they can share in the joy. But here we can't. I mean I had to go to my uncles for work and pretend nothing had happened even though I've some of the best news of my life. Is all a bit duplicitous really. It hasn't been easy and I'm counting the days til we tell everyone, but the really hard part is that our pregnancy or lack thereof (well not really in this case) is a conversation point when were talking with family and friends. We've got to go along with the party line that things still haven't worked and that we're soldiering on. This is a very hard ruse to make. I talk in banalities, almost taking the sportsman '1 month at a time' adage, all the whilst knowing its not true. I think I've got it pretty down pat, although, Liz is finding it much harder. When were together, she lets me do the talking, but struggles when she's alone. Our current thinking is we'll tell family and some close friends once the 8 week scan comes up good, and everyone else after a successful 12 week scan. In the ensuing weeks time will feel like its moving as fast a molasses, but hey, it is quite a ride.
I must say there are currently 4 people who know. Liz's parents, primarily because Liz was asking about family background for our trip to the OB/GYN and may have freaked her parents out and to assure them that nothing was wrong, let the cat out of the bag. I told my brother in law (Liz's brother) because he's a pharmacist and we needed some advice to help Liz get through a cold/flu. And finally, my sister knows. She just got back from living in the States and was planning a big night out for myself, Liz and her. At this point Liz couldn't maintain the subterfuge, so my sister knows as well. All that know are sworn to secrecy, and this blog is not public. I will not publish this blog until the 12 week scan. I will however put down my musings prior to that to keep track of all the thoughts, feelings and experiences that come with being an expectant father.
Cheers and thanks for reading.
The trying thing did become a bit trying. From all these people you see running around with kids you would thing that getting pregnant is fairly straight forward, but alas, it is not. When you start out, you sort of hope and believe things would work pretty well and it will only be a couple of months before the happiness begins. In reality, the rough average of time from beginning trying to conception is 12 months. Now a lot of people get pregnant first go, so that really means that 12 months is really more like 18 - 24 months. In this time you become more aware of other friends who took some time to conceive and others that still have not managed it and things become a little somber.
Our trying was one that took a while, 16 months of trying. At the start it is all fun, but as the months mount, the attempts become more structured and the doubts start to creep in. Meaning, what should be quite a positive time can be a touch difficult. Add to that, the constant questions from well meaning family and friends, well, as I say it can get a bit stressful.
We were quite proactive though. Early in our trying we both got a bunch of tests done to make sure everything was good. Pretty much because we are mid thirties, there are some family historical issues and realistically we didn't want to waste time if there was something we needed to sort out. In the end we booked in to see a OB/GYN after month 15 to get some more reassurance and to also see if there was anything else we could be doing to get things sorted.
As it turns out, we fell pregnant on the 16th attempt. I must say what a range of emotions and feelings. It was funny, but my first feeling was of relief. We'd done it and more importantly, we didn't have to stress about doing it any more. The test result was only faint, but temperatures were consistently raised, so all things were yes. The next feeling was probably a little bit of doubt, was this real? Is the faint marker a true Yes? As I said, we'd booked into the OB/GYN to discuss fertility so it turned into a confirmation/first visit. Our doctor was great, she still went through the fertility stuff that we'd booked to see her for, but also sent us off to get a blood test to confirm the pregnancy. She also eased our concerns around some family history that turns out to not affect us.
Anyway, the pregnancy confirmation. It was by way of a blood test and we had to wait a day for the result. This was probably when I was the most nervous. Although, the pee tests are of a good quality nowadays and give fairly accurate results, the faintness of our test gave me some pause. What if it was mistake/misreading? What if we weren't pregnant? It is fair to say, it was a slow 24 hours til we got the results. Liz called me as I was on my way to my uncles, where I'm doing a bit of work with the great news. We are definitely pregnant. I was so stoked. Walking around like a grinning mad man. I celebrated with a sausage roll with sauce, that is to say I celebrated in style. We've got the 8 week scan booked in for 3 weeks from the confirmation, so all systems are go. But they're not really are they.
Understanding that 1/6 pregnancies miscarry and most of them within the first 8 - 12 weeks, we don't want to tell anyone. I know this prudent and that most couples take this tack and can totally understand the reasoning. But normally when you have great news, you tell your nearest and dearest so they can share in the joy. But here we can't. I mean I had to go to my uncles for work and pretend nothing had happened even though I've some of the best news of my life. Is all a bit duplicitous really. It hasn't been easy and I'm counting the days til we tell everyone, but the really hard part is that our pregnancy or lack thereof (well not really in this case) is a conversation point when were talking with family and friends. We've got to go along with the party line that things still haven't worked and that we're soldiering on. This is a very hard ruse to make. I talk in banalities, almost taking the sportsman '1 month at a time' adage, all the whilst knowing its not true. I think I've got it pretty down pat, although, Liz is finding it much harder. When were together, she lets me do the talking, but struggles when she's alone. Our current thinking is we'll tell family and some close friends once the 8 week scan comes up good, and everyone else after a successful 12 week scan. In the ensuing weeks time will feel like its moving as fast a molasses, but hey, it is quite a ride.
I must say there are currently 4 people who know. Liz's parents, primarily because Liz was asking about family background for our trip to the OB/GYN and may have freaked her parents out and to assure them that nothing was wrong, let the cat out of the bag. I told my brother in law (Liz's brother) because he's a pharmacist and we needed some advice to help Liz get through a cold/flu. And finally, my sister knows. She just got back from living in the States and was planning a big night out for myself, Liz and her. At this point Liz couldn't maintain the subterfuge, so my sister knows as well. All that know are sworn to secrecy, and this blog is not public. I will not publish this blog until the 12 week scan. I will however put down my musings prior to that to keep track of all the thoughts, feelings and experiences that come with being an expectant father.
Cheers and thanks for reading.
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